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A motivating critique....

I entered a Self-Published Book Contest a while back. Didn't win, but got a lovely push in the right direction.

Note:  1= needs improvement, 5 = outstanding, 0 = n/a

Structure, Organization, and Pacing: 4

Spelling, Punctuation, and Grammar: 5

Production Quality and Cover Design: 5

Plot and Story Appeal: 4

Character Appeal and Development: 0

Voice and Writing Style: 4




Judge’s Commentary*:

Saballos enthralls her reader with short atmospheric stories that pivot around the theme of various Loteria cards, for in the game of Loteria, the cards decide the fate of the players. I enjoyed the ghost stories and cared what became of Salvador. The image of his mother’s spirit coming to kiss her sleeping son is powerful. Likewise, the story of Emilia Medina’s hearing music and finding a bundle of money under her pillow and having a sore forearm gave me goosebumps. Alberto’s untimely end at the hands of Senor Ibarro is tragic and the tale is potent, due to the crashing sound Elena hears in her kitchen just when Alberto must have died. The haunted house that Elena and Salvador lived in perpetuates the paranormal theme, after which I appreciated the way the author attempts to use grief in a baby’s death to slowly undo the spell of hauntings. There is a shift in ambiance because the following stories are far more modern and the vocabulary is more reflective of the street today. It is the clever Loteria device and the personal history of the stories that hold the collection together. “El Sol,” for instance, reflects the worry of an entire community when a murderer was on the loose; some readers may remember the occurrence. I felt sorry for the children’s swimming pool envy in “El Melon-The Melon.” Benicio’s discovery of the power he has over his new little brother is believable and yet captivating. I enjoyed reading these stories, but I would have liked to have had an introduction to or a summary of Loteria since I had never heard of the game or cards before seeing this book.

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